Everyone goes through a time in their lives where they feel compelled to search for their spiritual truth. Especially if you are plagued with mental illness, you tend to wonder why there is a purpose for life. You are compelled to search deep within and find a spiritual meaning to all of this suffering. And, this is even true for those who don’t deal with mental illnesses. Because it is natural to be curious for the meaning of life and the suffering that goes with it.
I definitely went through a time of deep exploration, and that was why I was compelled to write those spiritual books that I no longer market since one of them now doesn’t really represent my current beliefs. However, I did explore Wicca and paganism at one time and was even curious about different spells, such as the love and marriage cast– especially while I was wanting to settle down and get married, which feels like so many lifetimes ago now!
And that is what drew me to Wicca and paganism in the first place. The interesting spells, the different perspectives especially on love and relationships, and the fact that the elements of the Earth are what they worship. I also liked the fact that they only wanted to heal and only did spell casting for healing purposes- never to manipulate. That goes for the love and marriage spell too. It is not meant to manipulate for someone who you have a crush on to fall in love with you! It is meant to help you find the best match, that is all.
I feel that there is some truth to this, as energy of any kind is powerful. And, this phase in my life is what led me to read cards and to practice astrology- as I became a certified astrologer in 2006. Though, I will not be practicing regularly for a while yet as I have too many other areas of my life to focus on.
I may always be fascinated with Wicca and paganism, but after doing so much exploration, this is not the right path for me either. Have I figured out what my path happens to really be? No, not at all. I am still searching and will probably be searching for a long time.
I also have come to the conclusion that some things that happen have a spiritual meaning behind it, but that does not apply to everything. Sometimes shit just happens due to chaos which cannot be explained at all. However, there is most definitely something larger than us, and there is some kind of Higher Power out there. And the purpose of any religion is to help people find their own truth and spiritual beliefs. Unfortunately, many people have misused the purpose of religion and ended up using it as a reason to express hatred!
And this again goes back to why I don’t follow any organized religion, and this is why I have been compelled to search for my own meaning of life. And, I will be searching for a long time because I am still ways off from finding my own real spiritual truth.